Lonely

Been living in this state for a while. Unlike Texas, it's a chillier here. More of a breeze. I wake up early to read the Bible with some of the fam. Then I go back to bed, only to be awoke by my grandma. Then I bathe, get ready and drive her where she needs to go. Then I apply for jobs, help grandma, pick up my brother and head back home to clean up the house. You'd think being around so many people, there'd be no room for loneliness. But it's here. Sorry for all the depressing stuff; I'm just in this really weird mood combination of depression and anger. Always alone. I never got the brains, the beauty, the strength of the family. I'm so damn useless. I contemplate life so much. I really can't stand it. I'd like to leave it.